Return of the One-Legged Ninja

March 19, 2010

Devoted readers, I realize that 48 hours have passed since I last filled you in on the exciting life and times of Manhattan’s favorite (musical!) cripple. Rest assured, the lapse has been due to an upturn in activity and extreme calluses on my fingers from prolonged “jam sessions”.

As per my Irish repertoire, I did attempt the old standard “Danny Boy,” but the tune seems to call for something a little edgier than my acoustic guitar. Perhaps some bagpipes or an accordion? So, I forayed into Canadian repertoire instead! I’ve added the Avril Lavigne hit “Things I’ll Never Say” to my fast-expanding collection.

To be honest, I spent a good part of the day reading this book about the cult. I suppose the author was well-acquainted with techniques to rope you in, because it kept me inside for most of the beautiful day. However, just at dusk I set out on my crutches to meet a friend for dinner. By the way, my new policy is I walk to anything below 14th street. It’s valuable, albeit tedious and painful exercise. Anyway, I’m hobbling along and I suddenly see an entire billboard filled with posters advertising a free concert given by the very cult about which I’ve been reading! And, I see a young guy nailing up another poster! In horror, I asked if he was responsible for the mass of sky blue Sri Chimnoy Concert of Peace posters, to which he gave me a skeptical look and said, no, he was putting up some ska band poster. I think he may have thought I was a cultie! How mortifying.

I determined the absolute worst activity to do on one leg is laundry. Let me preface this by saying, I am very lucky to have laundry in my building. It could be worse. Now, changing the laundry from washer to dryer was unpleasant, as I had to do it practically item by item so my newly clean wardrobe didn’t end up on the floor. But getting the load back upstairs was my downfall. I am a person who likes to fold laundry in the laundry room. I saw no need to change this motif, and I also saw no need to use my crutches while in the building. Well, that left me with two towering piles stacked up against my chin, the remaining items in a bag swung over my shoulder, and much room for error on my return hop home. A few good tank tops were lost to the cause.

I hit the gym today and rather hard. The wide-gapped stairs didn’t scare me one bit, and neither did the fear of exhausting my arms beyond their capacity to crutch. I one-leg rowed and one-leg biked to gear up my good leg for its primary carrier status. The one-leg row is probably the best cardio I’ve found thus far.

I spent some time in the garden by the Church of St. Luke and took some high-quality pictures. I can’t post them, because I left my camera at my dad’s apartment where my dog, Jacques, was being given a bath in the sink and I commissioned pictures to be taken in my absence.

I realize the Japanese language procrastination has gone on too long. It will be amended tomorrow.

I also shopped at a thrift store on my way back from the gym. I think that is a testament both to my love of shopping and mastery of crutches.